Ultimate frisbee isn’t a sport. I used to think it was, I was adamant in fact that it was. But as I have grown older and wiser, I have realized that it’s just a bunch of way too invested nerds running around chasing a plastic disc. TTRPGs aren’t sports either. It’s just a bunch of way too invested nerds sitting around rolling plastic polyhedrons. So what does that make me? It makes me a nerd who is way too invested in both running around and chasing plastic discs and rolling little plastic polyhedrons. This class goes out to all my friends who are similarly way too invested in both activities. Here’s to hoping one day we can have personalities not defined by those two things.

Shameless plug to my Other Blog that is ultimate frisbee writing. Gonna be posting there every once in a while, some of it will be fiction, some of it will be commentary/analysis, and a lot of it is going to be nonsense!

Don't say I didn't warn you. (Ignore the fact that I called frisbee a sport in that note).

Enough talking. Class time!!!

The Ultimate Ranger

A: Disc Weaponry, Horrid Fields

B: Perfect Assist

C: Hyzer // Anhyzer 

D: Backhand of God // Forehand of Destiny

Disc Weaponry: Discs get lost at ultimate tournaments like socks disappearing into the dryer. Somehow you’ve managed to hang on to a few. You have a stack of discs with a 1d12 usage die. The discs work as arrows, and your range is that of a shortbow. In melee, you may use a disc as a dagger.

Horrid Fields: Ultimate frisbee isn’t a real sport, and it certainly doesn’t get treated like one. You’ve gotten used to it at this point. Ignore difficult terrain on horizontal surfaces. You know the fastest route between any two grasslands.

 

Perfect Assist: A dime huck, a smooth break throw, a wicked hammer, a fluke scoober, it doesn’t matter, an assist is an assist. You may choose an ally as a target for an attack. Roll the attack with advantage. On a success, roll damage, your ally adds the damage from your attack to their next attack roll and to the damage of their next hit. On a failure add half the damage roll to the next attack and damage. 

C1 Hyzer: When the time calls for it, you know how to put the proper angle on the disc to affect its flight path. You may ignore partial cover on ranged attacks. {Ultimate ranger level} times per day you may ignore penalties when trying to hit a target with complete cover. When you’ve used your last charge, flip this template. 

C2 Anhyzer: Moving targets are harder to hit, or so they say. You know you’ve just got to put the disc to space. As a reaction, you may attempt to knock projectiles out of the air. You may do this {Ultimate ranger level} times per day. 

D1 Backhand of God: You wind up, tense your core, and rip a massive backhand throw. Target as many creatures as are in a 70 foot line originating at your location. They must save or take {level}d6 radiant damage. Flip this Template after making the attack. 

D2 Forehand of Destiny: The power of your throw comes from the core, but the flick of the wrist is the most crucial part. Your arm whips back, then forwards, launching a disc high into the sky. Roll a d100. On any number ending with 7, the disc returns to earth, striking the earth in a location you choose within a range of 70ft, and dealing all adjacent creatures {level}d6+7 damage. On any other result, the disc stays in the air. Using this ability immediately lowers your disc usage die by one. When the disc returns to earth, flip this template. 

Notes:

- Flip templates stolen from Mike's The Punk Monk 

- Is this class really a ranger? idk, but that's what I'm calling it.

- The number 7, and to a lesser extent 70, comes up a lot in this class, justification for that being 7 is the number of players on the field per team during a standard game, and a standard field is 70 yards long from the front of one end zone to the front of the other end zone

- If you want the basics of ultimate check out USAU's "discover ultimate" That'll give you some info and a bit of embellishment and bullshit about how cool ultimate is.

- I truly hate the words "hyzer" and "anhyzer" they're just disgusting to say.